July 15, 2008
03:43 pm
I had an appointment with the oncologist today. It was to go over the results of my genetic testing and the MRI which I had done last week. The results were not what I was hoping for and despite being prepared for them as best I could be, I’m quite upset.
First, the MRI showed that I have not one tumor, but two. There is another really small tumor near the first one.
Second, I do have the BRCA1 gene.
To make a long story short, my oncologist is recommending a double mastectomy and the removal of both my ovaries and fallopian tubes. This will put me into menopause and I will not be able to have children. In addition, she is recommending 3 months of follow-up chemo and five years of Tamoxifen, a drug which should help limit my chances of having cancer again.
As you can imagine, it’s a lot to take in. I’m angry and I am sad. I’m scared. I’m going to be getting a second opinion from another oncologist. I don’t anticipate the recommendation to change, but I want to hear it from another viewpoint. At that point, I will be meeting with the surgeon to schedule whatever surgery I will be having.
The next step (other than a second opinion) will be having a port-a-cath put in. This will eliminate any needle pokes I’d need into my arms and will make chemo easier to administer.
I wanted to write all this stuff down because it’s really making my head swim. I am trying to somehow understand it all and handle the fact that I’m going to lose my breasts, my hair, and not be able to have biological children. Seeing it written down… having me actually write it… is making this suddenly so real. All too real.
